thursday 25

Ahh, the joys of cloning ... new appendages for amputees, duplicate copies of progressive minds, and the ever-present chance that there could be two Dave Couliers in this world. Cut it out. Roundtable Discussion Group holds a Bioethics Forum, led by Professor James Childress. 7 p.m., Cabell 432.

Atlas shrugged, Apollo farted. Professor Francois "Matt" LeBlanc of the Astronomy Department talks about "The Solar Wind Expansion: A Multimoment and Multispecies Model." 4 p.m., NRAO Auditorium.

In town tonight: at Dürty Nelly's, Bennie Dodd, and Tom Prout; at Espresso Corner, Sweet Leaf; at Miller's, John D'earth; at Outback Lodge, Stable Roots; at Escafé, Synthetic.

friday 26

You can smell the green in the spring air, the fragrant odor of blooming magnolias and flowery oaks. And the sweet scent of the paper in my pocket. Dollar-dollar bills, y'all. Meet on the Lawn side of the Rotunda to picket the Board of Visitors for the Living Wage Campaign, 1 p.m.

In town tonight: at Trax, The Cutters, Fuzzbubble; at Tokyo Rose, Dismemberment Plan, Cherry 2000, Sean-Na-Na; at Dürty Nelly's, Sierra; at the Outback Lodge, Blue Miracle; at Espresso Corner, Kind Strange

saturday 27

The Central American Relief Effort will hold a 5K "run for the border" benefit. Registration begins at Nameless Field at 8 a.m. run begins at nine. Commemorative light assault weaponry for first six finishers, courtesy of Oliver North.

"Magni-, Magni-, Magnificats, HO!" Come thrust your oh-so-phallic sword into the air, sound your feline yawp, and run around in anthropomorphic leopard and lion costumes, all the while listening to 100 well-scrubbed kids sing about some pregnant chick, in Latin! The Virginia Glee Club Spring Concert, performing J. S. Bach's Magnificat with special guest the Smith College Choir, 8:15 p.m. at Old Cabell Hall.

"It's a bird, it's a plane ..."
"No."
"By the power of Greyskull ..."
"Uh-uh."
"Ever danced with my mother in the pale moonlight?"
"That's more like it."
Batman, Cinamatheque, midnight.

In town tonight: at the Outback Lodge, Magraw Gap; at Trax, Everything, The Secret; at Moondance, Caron's Gathering; at Tokyo Rose, The Dawning.

sunday 28

"Butterfly in the sky, I could fly twice as high ... " Cross your fingers, click your heels three times, and maybe, just maybe, LeVar Burton will show his pretty face. Virginia Festival of the Book: all day, around grounds.

In town tonight: at Dürty Nelly's, PTF; at Rapture, Sweet Leaf; at Michael's Bistro, Full Flavor; at Escafé, Hogwaller Ramblers.

monday 29

"Hey, let's go to the Spring Fest."
"Didn't we go to that last week?"
"No, that was Spring Recess."
"Oh. Didn't we go to that last month?"
"No, that was Peanut Fest."
Spring Fest ‘99: Amphitheatre Arts & Lemonade, sponsored by University Union in the Amphitheatre at 11 a.m.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, One Drop; at Rapture, Chris Gelling; at Tokyo Rose, Mad Daddies and Drop Dead Dames.

tuesday 30

Barbeque sizzlin', Emmet Swimming singin', hippies dancin', all beneath the illustrious white tent that miraculously controls binge drinking. Spring Sunset Concert Series at 6:45 p.m., Newcomb Hall Plaza.

Hey! It's "Felicity" night! In cities that get the WB ...

"So I blew on it and it made this noise."
"Weird. What did it sound like?"
"Jethro Tull."
Flute Ensemble Performace, 8:15 p.m., Old Cabell Hall.

In town tonight: at Rapture, Motorcycle, devon; at Tokyo Rose, Atsushi Miura, Holiday Inn, and Paul Wilkinson; at Dürty Nelly's, Tim and Steve Ryalls.

wednesday 31

"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?"
"Nice fucking try, ya gringo."
International Chatroom, 5 p.m., O-Hill Community Room.

"You didn't know if it was right or wrong?"
"Well, I wasn't sure."
"You stabbed him 34 times. You were sure."
"It was an accident."
"Thirty-four concurrent accidents."
"Hey, it could happen."
James Q. Wilson speaks on "Moral In-tuitions," Caplin Pavilion, 4 p.m.

In town tonight: at Trax, Galactic; at Tokyo Rose, Slate Hill Boys; at Miller's, Mike Rosensky and Jeff Decker Quartet; at Michael's Bistro, Larry Keel Experience.