eBogus
The FTC has recently began an investigation of ebay.com, an on-line auction house, for possible involvement in fraudulent transactions -- and with good reason. Just look at the items Poodah bid on and what Poodah actually received!
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Poodah Ordered |
Poodah Received |
Triple Jeopardy
Tune in to a special edition of Politico Jeopardy this week where Jamie Driver, John Casteen, and Susan Fraiman can be seen sweating over this Final Jeopardy clue:
Alex: All right contestants, time is up. The category was "U.Va. Landmark" and the clue was, "white, saggy, and imposing." Jamie, we'll start with you. Your answer?
Jamie Driver: What is the Newcomb Tent?
Alex: No, I'm sorry. And your wager?
Jamie Driver: Madison House funding.
Alex: That's too bad. Moving on, John, what did you write?
John Casteen: What is the Pavilion I balcony?
Alex: No, that's incorrect. And your wager John?
John Casteen: The whole fucking Capital Campaign.
Alex: And our final contestant, Susan, what did you write?
Susan Fraiman: Who are the B.O.V. ?
Alex: That's correct, and what did you wager?
Susan Fraiman: $8
Poodah Is Everywhere
Caveat to all male a capella afficionados: Poodah knows your monies support overseas jaunts.
Jews and Monsters
Poodah, being the big Hollywood schmoozer that Poodah is wont to be, picked up on director Stephen Spielberg's pitch for his new movie while hanging out at the Oscars.
Spielberg: "Well you see, Poodah, it's all about this slave ship loaded with African slave Jews and a T. Rex who are attacked by Velociraptors riding on a giant shark. After battling the raptors, an evil Nazi flying saucer beams the slave ship aboard and drops it off near the Canyon of the Crescent moon. There's also a side-plot of this archaeologist with a Peter Pan heart, a shaky hand, and a shadowy past, played by the up and coming actor Harrison Hanks Dreyfus, who's in search of the lost slaveship because his girlfriend, played by Oprah Goldberg, has been captured and is aboard. Before the movie begins, the archaeologist knocked up his girlfriend and she gave birth to a wise-cracking Asian boy named Short Round. In the end the archaeologist and his son Short Round build a transmitter out of a Speak 'n' Spell and Short Round's coolie hat to release the slaves and the slave girlfriend as the T. Rex melts the Nazis with his breath. The African slave Jews run across a parted sea among flying bullets and body parts. The whole thing will be done in black and white except for the hero's glowing fingers. I think I'll call it Close Encounters of the Third Reich."
Siesta Solace
This week, Mexico's government ended the centuries-old tradition of the three-hour siesta in the middle of the workday. Poodah heard Mexico's laborers singing this bright lamentation from Poodah's cushy penthouse.
(sung to the tune of "La Cucaracha")
No more siesta, no more siesta,
25 MARCH 1999
Got to stay at work all day,
Work nine to cinco,
Just like the Gringo,
NAFTA took our naps away.